If I Blink
by Lily-On-Water
Summary: He is silent, but that doesn't matter... his eyes tell her everything that she needs to know. A story of the realms, and P.S. I don't own Gemma Doyle, just in case you don't know.
1. Chapter 1

His face bends to meet hers and she feels her own lips curve up into a smile as he presses his wind-chapped ones against them. He tastes like the breeze on a cool, crisp day and she bites gently at his bottom lip, hoping to harness some of whatever nature has blessed him with; she wishes to save this feeling and this moment. She wishes to save it because she knows that someday she won't be so lucky as to experience these lips in person, someday she will have to part with them and though that will be a sad day to be sure, but it will come. When it does she wants to be able to remember every part of this. She wants to remember the way the heat radiated off of his body and the way his skin, though dry, still felt smooth and tender to her. She wants to think back and still smell the sweet smell of aged leaves and nature on him; she wants to be able to smell it the same way she does now. She wants it to encompass her, the way it does now… she wants to feel the weight of his arms wrapped around her the way they are now.

His tongue breaks through the fragile barriers that are her lips, and she is powerless to stop the gasp that escapes her; he doesn't remove it, though. Just keeps with his gentle exploration and before long her own has reached up in response, and, for whatever reason… she doesn't find it revolting. She had always thought that she would… after all, who really wants to have somebody shove their tongue into their own mouth? She had always thought that it would repulse her that; she would gasp, endure it for a moment, but then push back and run off only to never think of it again… but this is different. He is different. He makes her feel different; when she's with him she's no longer just a regular schoolgirl like Ann or Pippa, or even Felicity, for that matter. She is just herself, but it is a better version of herself; the version of herself that had run wild in India but had been lost somewhere in transit. He brings it out in her… the best of her.

"Kartik," She breathes when they finally separate, if it can even properly be called that. She can feel his breath against her mouth and all she wants is to press herself back up against him, but she can't. Already she can feel herself beginning to be pulled away, not from him but from this world altogether. If she doesn't hurry she will run out of time… she can't do that, not here.

"Kartik… I would have married you. I didn't used to think so… but I would have… I loved you." Tears prick at the corners of her eyes and his touch is gentle as he wipes them away; he nods. "I loved you so much, Kartik… more than I ever thought that I could love someone… more than I still think that it's possible to love someone… but I do. With all my heart, Kartik, I love you with all of my heart."

He nods again, and the sadness in his eyes is profound… in this world he is speechless, but she knows what he would say, and so she puts a finger to his lips… silencing him before pressing her own back against his. She tries to hold onto him for forever, but she is already ebbing away, she can feel it. Tears dribble down her face and leak into their kiss, rendering it salty, but it doesn't matter, because it is already gone… she is already awake.

"What's the matter with you then?" Ann mutters from her bed, still half-asleep herself, across from her she smiles, through her tears she smiles.

"Nothing's wrong, Annie," She gulps, "For the first time, in a long time, nothing's wrong."


	2. Chapter 2

"I keep debating on whether or not I should tell Ann about you." She muses, running her fingers through a fine lock of dark hair, grinning when it gets caught in a curl. He lies as silently as always, a look on his face that tells her he is listening but at the same time not really hearing her, quite a feat but not a thing to trouble herself over. After days in the company of such as Felicity and Pippa you get to find that having your own voice is not really necessary when you have someone else's to listen to. It is somewhat nice to have the flipside of things for a change, quite nice actually. "Not that I don't miss your voice, I do more and more as time goes on."

Furiously a blush creeps up her neck, colors her cheeks, she turns her face away from him but he reaches for her wrist, a laughing smile on his face. _A laughing smile without any laughs, how is that even possible? _She shakes the thought away, turns back to her companion, "I'm sorry, I was thinking and it all just kind of slipped out." She closes her eyelids, waits for the blush to subside, counting backwards from ten the way Ann had told her to; chastising herself mentally for not better controlling her thoughts.

Her lids flutter and when she opens them again he is looking at her in a peculiar way, his eyes on hers appear to be burning, as though entreating her for some cause or another; there is something very strange about them. For whatever reason she has the feeling that, had she tried to turn away, she may have found that she very well couldn't. Almost unconsciously she is aware of a niggling at the back part of her mind, nothing too ferocious but a niggling nonetheless, her brow furrows and his eyes seem but a smidgen brighter. Whatever is the matter with him, or her for that matter? _I do feel rather strange, not at all the way I normally do in these dreams, not the way I normally do ever, really._

_ They aren't dreams, Gemma. _The gasp escapes her before she can stifle it, the boy beside her is smiling, a beautiful smile, the likes of which are not often to be seen anymore. _These aren't dreams, we are bound, I assure you that all that is happening, all that has happened, all of that is very much real. I'd have had a hard time believing it myself if not for the tree's knowledge._

"But- but what do you mean?" Forgetting modesty for a moment she speaks out, not feeling an ounce of embarrassment, the present situation is much too confusing for such nonsense. "What do you mean we're bound? What do you mean the tree's knowledge?"

Another thought comes, like a tide soothing her over, and taking with it all her harried attempts at denial. _When I sacrificed myself for you, and became a part of the tree, that bound us together. That tree binds everything and everyone together in the realms, and you when you open your mind to it. _

"Can I open my mind to it outside of my dreams? If I were sitting in an art class, or attending the opera, could I open my mind and be with you then?" She can hear the thrum of her pulse in her ears; an unfair and even more so unpleasant thought comes to mind, this is magic that she is dappling with. That she is thinking of so eagerly, even after she has seen what the after effects of magic can be. What it has driven people to do, the good as well as the bad. She pushes it aside; she will not let him go so easily, no amount of self-coaxing would be suitable for that kind of pain, not when she has just got him back.

_This isn't normal magic, it's ancient, I'm not sure what you would call it, but it's powerful. _He is given a moment to pause, taking in her stricken expression. _It's powerful but it can't be used against us, it's for the one who rules the tree, until someone else is slain we will have this. I don't know how it works exactly, but I'm learning, I think we could use it outside of dreams, but I would have to search harder if I were to know for sure. _

With the feel of being another person entirely she is aware of someone shaking her, Ann, trying to wake her up for classes. He shoots her an apologetic look and nods, giving her a kiss on the forehead before relinquishing her back into the waking world.

**A/N: Please review, constructive criticism, long or short, comments or ideas . . . Just tell me what you are thinking people. **


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